Why I finally learned to say “I love you”

Updated: Jan 19, 2019

Is there a person you think about every single day? Let this thought rest for a few minutes in your mind as you read on what I am about to draft onto the page.

I wish I had learned this through different circumstances, but allas, I am about to share a lesson I learned through the death of one of my best friends.

Imagine this: mid day, a rainy May afternoon, you get a phone call that a friend you talked to just a few days ago, has passed away. Less than a month before her 18th birthday.

I couldn’t believe it either. I still can’t.

Grief arrived fashionably late. It was nowhere to be found during the day. It came in the lonely hours of the night. Every single night for maybe a week or two. When it was just me and my thoughts. And all I could think about was Her and the burning question:

What could I have done differently?

While at first I believed… I tried so, so hard to believe, to convince myself that I had left nothing unsaid, that I had given my best — it was not true.

If I had thought as much about her while she was alive. If I had taken the time to talk to her more, to see her more, to help her — maybe she’d still be here today. Or maybe, at least, the loss wouldn’t be as hard. Because I would have had more time. Or, at least, more meaningful time. Because truth is:

We never have enough time

So share your thoughts. Make your feelings known. Say what you need to say — even if it’s sometimes painful and hard, if you feel it’s the right thing — do it! Because you might not get a “later”. Don’t take your time for granted.

The meaning of life is and always has been very simple a construct. It’s love. So, tell the people you love that you love them. Living every day as if it is your last doesn’t necessarily mean that you should go on an extreme adventure, or to a far away place. It means that you should go to sleep every night without a regret. Knowing that you’ve indeed been honest and been kind.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I’m yet to learn to listen to her favourite songs without bawling and I am still living with the illusion that she is just going to appear one day around the corner.

The one thing she wanted to do in life is help others

Ambition wasn’t her strong suite. She didn’t have a strong will, or the brightest mind. But she had such a pure heart.

So if you take away anything from this article, let it be these three lessons I learned from Her:

  1. Help others

  2. Give for the simple joy of giving

  3. Love as hard as you can and as much as you can

  4. Bring joy to yourself and to the people around you


First Published on Medium September 7, 2017

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© Gery Galabova.